Look. Just unfriend me now and avoid the Xmas rush.

Let me say, first of all, that I firmly and deeply believe that you, my actual Fb fam, should befriend whom you please. And, truly, really, and sincerely, I do not believe that every Fb friend YOU have is a measure of the kind of person you are. Sho, y'all have your befriend reasons, as I certainly have mine. But n. b.:

if you have a friend who does not read for comprehension, and s/he, consequently, responds uncomprehendingly to my comment or your comment, or somebody else's comment, to your post;

or if s/he attacks you or another friend's grammar, ungrammatically, or spelling, unspelltically;

or if s/he begins to obsess over The End of The World As We Know It (in 2012, specifically);

or if s/he seems to be choosing ANONYMOUS and obviously psychotic Teabaggers over you or your friends, whom s/he actually knows;

or if s/he attacks you or another friend, howsomever;

I will respond in unkind.

Now, I have read your snotty little statuses concerning my (or anyone's) responding to your snotty little statuses, and I know you have the right to delete my snotty little comments on your snotty little statuses, but think: how many of your friends will see my snottiness (and begin to characterize you as One Like Unto Me) before you get a chance to disclaim and delete it?

Think on that, beloved (and, of course, whether you hold with my abbreviation of Christmas), and consider that friend thang, as regards you, me, and Facebook.

Dear Jesus, my Brother, I'm tryin to do right. Really, I am. Help.