Not at ALL What You Thought

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hey, YOU!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

20 Things About Me (Stolen from Jeff)

(Homage, and all that, Jeff.)

1. I call myself "antisocial," but I love, love, love hangin out with the people I love, either IRL or not. One of my favorite people says, "I have enough friends," and I sometimes think that's a selfish way to be. And then somebody I don't just love tries to be Best Friends. . . .

2. Total strangers confide in me, for some reason. I wonder: do I have a kind of "I'd be interested in whatever you have to say" face? I've heard some doozy confessions, too. (I'm tellin you only one: while standing in line at Big Lots, a million years ago, a 65yo woman told me that the baby everybody was assuming was her grandchild was her child!)

3. I'm a terrible housekeeper, too. I don't know how it happened, since Mama's house is so clean folk can literally eat off her floor, and Daddy was, while not antiseptic, pretty meticulous about where stuff should go. OTOH, he was a packrat. And so am I.

4. I buy movies all the time, so much so, I think the DVDs might outstrip the books one day. . . . .Nahhhhhhh. That'll never happen.

5. Although I have Issues with my superiors on the job, I truly like and respect most of my colleagues, and was really hurt when a new one thought my big smile (when people peek into my office to say "Hey!") was fake. (Maybe, by now, Colleague knows better.)

6. I'm painfully shy. Among friends and family, I have a reputation for certain talents, but every time I'm asked to "perform," my knees almost give out. Literally.

7. I lie about the reason I'm a teetotaler. (Samuel Adams commercials tempt me, though.)

8. My shyness helped form me into the TV hound I am today. Every year, TV stinks up the joint more, but every year, there's a jewel or two (or a habit I just can't break) that keeps me in front of my Glass Teat*.

9. I love to sing.

10. I'm fiercely loyal. To a fault.

11. I'm fiercely proud of my daughters.

12. I get a serious rush every time I spend money.

13. I truly do not believe that anyone pays as much attention to certain details --especially visual details-- as much as I do.

14. So I don't believe anybody can/could love my daughters as much as I do, unless it's God.

15. I have an aversion to leaving a book unfinished, although, the older I get, the smaller the aversion shrinks wrt certain books I've started.

16. I believe I was deeply depressed most of the ten-eleven years I was once married.

17. I love words and wordplay, and I love the people who will play with me (whether they love words and wordplay or not).

18. I love a good argument, especially when people don't get mad about it. I'm so sad because the one man I used to argue with, every time we talked, and laughed the entire time, died this year. We were the same age.

19. I love gadgets.

20. I still think about my three favorite compliments of all time, and they still make me happy, every time.

Thank you, Jesus, my Brother, for this life, however it turns out.

* If you (anyone) can identify this reference, and without Google, I'll. . . do something for you. . . .Something.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008


Every night, just after I've told everybody, "Get out and go to bed!" Goobs commando-crawls over to where I'm invariably sitting and wraps her skinny little arms around me.

Tonight, she said, "You have spaces between your teeth. Your bottom row."

"That's sexy," I replied.

"Is not."

"Is. Sometimes, I go around and flash my bottom row. Like this." She cracked up.


"No, seriously. Makes men's knees give out. I don't do it that often, though, because people gotta work." Goobs flashed her bottom teeth at me. I flashed back.

We crack each other up.

I knew you'd wanna know.

Dear Jesus, my brother, teach us not to despise The Day of Small Things.